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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496610">The Humphrey Appeal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lagomgalen/pseuds/lagomgalen'>lagomgalen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gossip Girl (TV 2007)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Denial of Feelings, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff, Self-Denial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:15:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lagomgalen/pseuds/lagomgalen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair Waldorf doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Humphrey &amp; Serena van der Woodsen, Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Louis Grimaldi/Blair Waldorf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Humphrey Appeal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. She really doesn't. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Serena always had this rebellious strike to her, so her initial interest in the Brooklyn life is not that weird. Blair walks around for a few months, every day even more surprised that they haven't ended it yet. They are even disgustingly cute, even if she never admits it out loud. He is nice to her. Never cheats on her. Never spill her secrets to gossip girl to get his way with her. He doesn't even break up with her when she relapse. She lies and says that she cheated on him and he comes back. Blair simply admires the dedication, that's all. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>doesn't think about it when Nate goes running after Serena or Chuck calls her a whore. She simply admires Dan's patience with Serena. She does not get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sees her screaming at Serena at Blair's mother's photoshoot, but she doesn't care what he thinks. Besides, she's too mad to function right now. She sits down at the end of a dimmed corridor. She wills herself not to cry. If Serena comes down here she will not be sobbing loud and ugly. Serena has always cried like the goddess she is and it makes Blair want to cry even more. She sees his shadow first, convinced it must be Serena, and a little taken aback when it isn't. He sits down and she hears him talking about his mother, and she knows that she answers but afterward she most clearly relishes in the fact that he came by his own will. Serena didn't send him, and the weird feeling in her stomach is obviously angst from her fight with Serena. She actually cries a little. He doesn't touch her, but he sits with her until she tells him that he should leave, that Serena must miss him. She says it snarky, puts in something about Brooklyn and germs but it's vague. He laughs, and the feeling in her stomach is disgust because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grows out his hair a little, and she finds that she actually has a thing for curls. But she likes Nate's hair more. And Chuck's. She might like curls but her type is </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>straight hair. She tells herself that it makes it easier to run her hands through, and even though she doesn't do playing with boys' hair, she could if she wanted to. She doesn't wonder what Dan's hair feels like, and when Serena puts her hands in it when they make out she is not jealous. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Serena and Dan break up, and Blair still doesn't understand the Humphrey Appeal. Serena cries and they drink vodka on a Tuesday night. In her drunken mumbles, Serena starts talking about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>good Dan is in bed, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Blair huffs. She tells Serena that she must have really low standards because there is no way in hell that Dan Humphrey is good in bed. She doesn't think about it when Serena falls asleep. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she walks in on Georgina and Dan in her college dorm, she screams. The feeling in her gut is definitely disgust. She doesn't glance at his abs as he struggles into his shirt again. She shoots glares at Georgina only because she is disgusted by the thought of watching Dan in bed. She leaves, and the ache in her stomach is only from disgust. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slides up beside her the evening before Dorotas wedding and asks her how she is. She lets it drop immediately - no she isn't fine - before she catches herself. He seems genuinely concerned, but she questions it anyway. She isn't in a great space, she throws out words to describe herself as horrible, soulless, and deprived. He looks at her and tells her that despite not being his type she isn't that bad. A weird feeling flows in her stomach. The feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course </span>
  </em>
  <span>about him saying that she isn't that bad. She doesn't want nor need Dan Humphrey to like her, the mere thought disgusts her. She tells him that his ice is melting so that he'll leave because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She declares her unhappiness in front of the entire wedding party, tears streaming down her face. She talks with Dorota, vowing that she will find pure and simple love. She does not think of him when she promises, and if she were to think of him it would only be because of how nice he was to Serena. Because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I do believe that you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy". Her heart skips a beat. She mumbles something about Vanessa before she thanks him. Her stomach does not flutter when he asks her to dance. She does not smile when he offers to get drinks for her family. She doesn't acknowledge her mother's remark at how nice this gentleman is. She doesn't smile when he dances more with her. Her heart is beating at its normal speed when he says that she deserves better than Chuck Bass. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn't think twice about Dan when she hears that Vanessa and he split up. And when she hears about him and Serena hanging out again, the feeling in her stomach is the worry for her friend. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She sees him talking to Dorota by a cab the day she goes to meet Chuck at the empire state building. She hears him talking about babies and ultra-sound pictures but she doesn't care that he's nice to her maid. It doesn't matter to her that Chuck's never bothered to even acknowledge Dorota, and she doesn't think Dan's behavior is cute. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She comes over by herself for the first time the night when Chuck sleeps with Jenny. Dan doesn't question her when she enters, just gives her a blanket before bringing her to the roof. Jenny is sleeping at his place, and they don't want to wake her. She cries, but she doesn't like the way he puts his arms around her while stroking her hair. She doesn't feel touched by the way he puts a blanket over her shoulders and sets her down in a plastic chair before going down for coffee and alcohol. They drink and she only does it because she's desperate. She rambles about all kinds of incoherent things, and he cuts her off every time she says something mean about herself. Amid her drunkenness, she asks him to make sure that she never goes back to Chuck Bass. He pinky promises, and she doesn't think it's sweet because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She runs away to Paris with Serena. Serena does what she always does, finds a new boy every night who falls for her instantly. Blair spends most of her time roaming the streets, taking pictures that she sends to Dan. Blair isn't jealous over Serena's ability to just leave Dan at home and know that he'll be there when she gets back. She doesn't loathe herself for not being more like Serena, and if she did it would not be because of Dan's affection because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She meets a prince. A real-life prince, who is interested in fine art and wants to date </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not Serena. He's perfect and she brings him home for the New Year. She likes kissing him, and she does not think about the fact that Dan is kissing Serena five feet away, because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One evening at the movies, Dan puts his pinky finger on hers. She doesn't acknowledge it, keeping her eyes firmly on the movie screen. About twenty minutes later, he moves his hand to rest entirely on hers. By the end of the movie, he is holding her hand, fingers interlocked, and Blair's heartbeat is </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously </span>
  </em>
  <span>normal. When they rise to leave the theater Dan let's go of her hand. They start doing that, holding hands but only in the dark of the movie theater. She only lets him do it because he's warm and the theater is always cold because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She ends it with Louis because he doesn't spark any flutters. He is everything she ever wanted, a real-life prince and a boy who wants her and not Serena. It doesn't have anything to do with the fact that his hair isn't curly or that he doesn't bring her vodka and old movies every time Chuck is in town. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Serena tags along for one of Dan and Blairs cinema nights and Blair is happy for her friends when she sees Serena sneaking her hand into Dan's in the dark of the film. The feeling in her stomach is just the weird popcorn they have here, she must be sensitive to some chemical or something. She moves out of the cinema and heads to the toilette. She purges for the first time since Chuck slept with Jenny. It's because of the popcorn because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When she gets back inside, Dan still has his hand in Serenas and it doesn't ache. She ignores his worried glance, just slips down into her seat, and takes a big gulp of her diet coke. Her skin doesn't spark when she notices him glancing at her during the remains of the movie because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She loses a lot of weight when Chuck comes home with Eva. Serena announcing that she wants to try </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Dan has nothing to do with it. She's having a hard time keeping any food down and she is slipping into old habits fast. Her mother applauds her weightloss and Dorota tries to feed her more but the little food Blair manages to eat comes up again. She just misses Chuck, because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dan comes over to watch a movie with her, and she doesn't wear baggier clothes so that he won't notice her weightloss. He stops short in the foyer, the small smile in his face quickly turning to worry. She isn't thankful for the fact that he doesn't question her, nor that he doesn't argue with her about which movie they should watch - she couldn't care less about what Dan thinks of her. She isn't pretending to sleep on the couch because Dan is in the kitchen talking with Dorota, concern in his voice. It's just nice to be left alone a little bit, it has nothing to do with Dan because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She comes over for movie night a few weeks later and only accepts to wearing his shirt and a pair of his pajama pants because he keeps complaining about the pearls in her dress poking him when they cuddle on the couch. She only falls asleep on the couch because she is tired, it's not because she is comfortable or feels safe. She isn't touched when she wakes up the next morning in his bed. And she isn't disappointed when she learns that he slept on the couch because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He made her breakfast. A big breakfast, with waffles and coffee and freshly pressed orange juice. She smells toast and sees him making scrambled eggs when she enters the kitchen. She doesn't think his hair in the mornings is hot, and she only finds it annoying that he's made this much food for just the two of them. She huffs when he asks what she wants and takes a cup of coffee and sits down by the counter. He tells her that someone is going to have to help him eat all this food, and his lack of subtleness is only annoying and definitely not adorable. She takes a piece of fruit and he smiles when he thinks she can't see, and she hates that smug smile. She takes a piece of toast and a gulp of orange juice and does not think that she could do this more often, because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The fact that her stomach turns when she sees Dan's phone lit up by a text from Serena is only due to her eating to fast. She excuses herself and moves towards the bathroom but is yanked back by Dan. He puts her back firmly in her chair and sits down next to her and eat his food. He makes small talk about movies and books. He keeps talking even though she doesn't respond. But she eats the biggest meal she's had in weeks and she doesn't puke. When she leaves around lunch, Dan pulls her in for a hug and tells her that she can't let Chuck have this kind of power over her and she nods because that's why she is feeling down. After all, she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She stops purging after that. She is still down and avoids places where she will see Chuck and Eva together, and it has nothing to do with the fact that Serena and Dan go together to those events. It doesn't help that it is summer, which means that there are three times as many charity events to attend than usual. In the beginning, she brings dates, but all of them have straight hair and doesn't make her breakfast in the mornings, so she starts showing up alone. She doesn't wonder if Dan and Serena leave together after each party, and whether he makes her breakfast in the morning too, because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Blair starts feeling better and Dan comments on her seeming happier. She tells him that it's because she is completely over Chuck and Dan tells her that he is happy for her. They decide to watch a new movie release to celebrate new beginnings, but the movie isn't that great so they talk through most of it and don't stop when the movie is over. Blair only enjoys it because the alternative was watching a bad movie. It has nothing to do with Dan because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Serena's apparent overdose makes Dan come running. They're not a couple but he stands by her through anything. The thought that she could've done it to herself never crosses his mind because he thinks of her as a goddess and Blair is not jealous. He hides her away in the loft, takes her side in every decision she makes that day. She decides to check into Ostroff, and he takes her there. Blair is not jealous, she just thinks that he's clingy and awkward. She doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They go on a road trip together to track down Juliette and even though they bicker a lot, they have a pretty good time. He brings coffee with him the morning they take off, she brings croissants. It feels oddly domestic. He escorts her into the house Gossip Girl told them about with a hand on her back and shuts down her suggestion that they should separate to cover more ground. They find Damien and Dan shows his obvious dislike and distrust by moving closer to Blair every time Damien moves. It is only annoying and not heartwarming because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lets her ramble and drain her anger at the loft after Serena completely dismissed their findings of Juliette. She rants and screams at nothing and everything. He sits on his couch patiently with a small smile on his face. He looks at her with warm eyes and the heat in her cheeks is only anger and frustration. She barely notices when he moves towards his bedroom, only stopping and standing still when she sees him reentering the living room with a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt in his hands. After a quick staredown Blair snatches the clothes out of his hands and locks herself in the bathroom. She does not blush when she comes out and Dan is standing in his room without a shirt, in the middle of changing. She refuses to let him sleep on the couch and she finds that his bed is big enough for two. She falls asleep with her hand in his and wakes up snuggled into his chest. She moves his arm off her and leaves because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One Wednesday Serena turns up in Blair's foyer, crying and sloppy drunk. Dan has rejected her advances and told her that he only wants to be friends with Serena, and Blair is only sad for her friend. The flutter in her stomach is just hunger so she and Serena drink and eat junk food till they pass out in Blair's bed. Before they fall asleep Blair tells Serena that she shouldn't be crying over Humphrey because she doesn't get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She helps a hungover Serena home the next morning. She tells the chauffeur to drive to Brooklyn solely because she wants to give Dan the scolding of his life. When she reaches the loft and no one opens she sends a snarky text to Dan. She taps her foot impatiently before she gets a text that tells her that he's on the roof. She mutters insults under her breath while moving up the stairs to the roof, gets ready to yell at him for breaking her best friend's heart like that. But as soon as she opens the door to the roof and catches his eye her mind goes blank. She stops in her tracks and responds to his small smile with one of her own. He sits on a picnic blanket, wrapped in a huge plaid. He opens up his cocoon in a silent invitation and she settles in beside him. She feels his lips on her head as she leans on his shoulder, his arm around her back. It's warm and cozy and she must admit that she likes it. They talk like they normally do but there is something different in the air. When it gets way too cold to sit they go down to the loft, he makes her coffee and they watch a movie. They cuddle, but this time it doesn't gradually develop to it from sitting on opposite ends of the couch. No, they start like that. About halfway through Sunset Boulevard, he whispers "I didn't know that she wanted to be more than friends". She tells him that it's okay, that Serena is fine and that she drank her heart out yesterday, but she knows that he didn't say it out of concern for Serena. When Dorota calls to ask if she is coming home tonight Dan offers her to stay at his place and she accepts. She sleeps in her usual pair of his clothes and feels oddly at home, despite the lack of silk. They lay down in his bed, nose to nose, and just stares at each other for what feels like minutes before Dan kisses her. It's soft and easy and her stomach flutters in a way it has never done before. She has dated an Archibald, a Bass, and a prince and none of it has ever felt like this. She falls asleep tugged into his side, legs intertwined, and with a smile on her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wakes up with him next to her and doesn't remove the arm around her. She lets him kiss her good morning. She lets him make her breakfast and doesn't scoff or complain. She kisses him goodbye, a long kiss moving into a second kiss. When she moves to walk away she walks back and gives him a third kiss. It's so silly and if she watched them from outside right now she would probably puke but she can not help herself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he calls her later that night and asks her on a date, she accepts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe she does get the Humphrey Appeal.</span>
</p>
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